To some it’s a 4-letter word. To others it’s a drug. And to others still, it is the foundation of happiness.
I’m referring, of course, to love.
As men we are moved by it, stirred by it, and scared by it. It causes us to do crazy things that we never would have done before. It’s mushy, childish, noble, and epic all in the same breath.
I believe that men are built to love – and yet very few men understand it.
To understand love we must first understand selflessness, as that is the root and foundation of love. Love is that kind of selflessness that is wholly devoted to the good and well-being of another person – at the expense of self. Love will stop at nothing to cherish and protect the beloved – nothing else matters. Love risks life and limb to rush into a raging inferno to save a trapped little girl. Love saves that last chocolate chip cookie for your spouse. Love goes without so that others may have. Love takes the bullet. Love lays its life down.
What do we call those who love? Heroes. True love is heroic and manly.
But just like heroes have villains, so love has a villain. It’s a counterfeit, “love in disguise”, roaming about the world pretending to be something heroic, though when you tear off the mask it is the exact opposite. I’m talking about another 4-letter word: Lust.
Lust pretends to be love, but instead of selfless it is selfish. Lust is interested in what it can get, not what it can give. Lust is interested in the happiness that a girlfriend provides, or the comfort that a relationship could bring, or a convenience for self. Lust will sometimes give, but always with the expectation of something given in return. Lust says “I give 50%, you give 50%”, or “I scratch your back, you scratch mine”.
Lust primarily seeks personal fulfillment and happiness in relationships, often at the expense of the other person. In contrast, love is fulfilling, but it’s not about being fulfilled. There is no greater satisfaction in life then to spend it on those whom you love. Love brings happiness, but it’s not about pursuing personal happiness.
Men, we are built for the heroic. We are built to love, not to lust. Let us learn how to discern the difference, and to love with all that we are! Love is a high, grand, and noble calling. Your girlfriend/wife, children, parents, siblings, neighbors, co-workers – they all need your love. They all need the humble, servant-hearted selflessness that love brings.
The world needs such heroes.
At the Resource Center, we talk about love with our clients. True love and what that means. We also offer free pregnancy tests and STD testing and treatment. When a client comes in for these appointments, they meet with a nurse or options advisor that helps them look at their relationships. We are always a listening ear. Call us today or setup an appointment online.
